Why Couples Need Shared Dreams

When two people get married, we celebrate the way that two totally different individuals have committed to a lifetime of connection and building a life together. Married couples come in all shapes and sizes: some have the husband and wife pursuing different careers, others have them both in the same industry or even working on the same business, and still others may have a single income source while the other person focuses on the home.

For me and Joy, our careers have changed throughout the years. For the first years of our marriage, we were both working in the same organisation; then there was a time she left to work in an entirely different industry. For a season, I also traveled extensively, some with Joy, some without.

Now we are at a time in our lives where we invested into a convenience store and are also running our own coaching business for married couples. These are examples of shared dreams that we purposefully worked towards.

Because we work on these two projects together, it also means that we are spending so much more time together than we have in previous years. Throughout these changes, the time we spend together and the way we work together have also evolved. It’s not to say that one or another arrangement is better. All these experiences have also helped us get to know each other better.

Building a dream together means that we dialogue about the things that we want to see, and we work towards finding something we want to work on together.   
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Why It’s Important to Build Shared Dreams

Building a dream together means that we dialogue about the things that we want to see, and we work towards finding something we want to work on together.

No matter what life season you are in right now, we encourage you to come together and see what kind of adventure you can build with your spouse. Here are some reasons why it’s important to have shared dreams as a couple, no matter how big or small it is:

1. Sharing our heart’s desire helps us understand and appreciate each other better.

When we share the things that are important to us, we help the other person understand us better. And when we hear the things that are dear to our partner’s heart, we also know him or her a little better. Consequently, this helps us see and affirm his or her strengths, too.

2. It gives you a joint sense of purpose.

Creating goals together can fill you with a sense of purpose—that intangible thing that helps you wake up excited in the mornings! This also means that you can both start living with a focus in mind, helping you to choose the things that matter to your shared dreams and making do without everything else.

3. It confirms commitment towards the future.

Making plans together for the future helps give the assurance of your own commitment to seeing things through. This is very beneficial for someone who may be struggling with the security of the relationship.

4. Working towards a common goal strengthens connection.

As two people work together, you build memories of little moments spent together. This includes happy as well as trying times!

5. Building a shared dream to benefit others takes our eyes off of ourselves.

When your common dream is for the benefit of others, you both have the shared experience of forgetting yourselves and thinking about how to help or serve other people. Some people say this is a proven way to help reduce quarreling, because you are both busy meeting other people’s needs.

6. It gives you a go-to conversation topic.

Because you are working on something together, it helps you have an automatic conversation topic. The hope of seeing it to fruition also gives you a lot of positive energy to move on.

7. It helps you spend more time together and know each other better.

A joint project almost automatically means you get to spend more time together as you make plans and execute the activities involved. It also means you get to see more of how your partner reacts to different situations, helping you know each other better in the process.

Having a Shared Dream Helps Cement Your Relationship

Although we don’t claim any single thing to be the ingredient that keeps marriages together, having a shared dream has been found to help strengthen many married relationships. If you want to find ways to build a dream together, stay tuned for our next post on Shared Dream Ideas.

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