Top 5 Reasons to Add Date Time to a Packed Schedule

Before you got married, what was your favourite way to spend time together? Movies? Sports? Dinner? And now that you’re married, when was the last time you spent time like the old days?

We ask that question because most couples find themselves so swamped with responsibilities after marriage, that it’s easy to let date time slide. For example, when Joy and I got married, we immediately had three kids in three years. Our friends always called them Do-Re-Mi, which was fun, in a way. But as you can guess, it left us very little free time.

Let me focus on that term: free time. If someone asks me if I have free time to meet with them, I will say, “When would you like to meet? I’ll make time.” I don’t think of any of my time as “free time,” but I can make time for what’s truly important. And I believe that’s the same mindset we should have towards date time with our spouse.

In this post, we share our top 5 reasons why we need to add date time to our schedule—even though it already seems impossible to add anything else!

If you don’t put date time on the schedule, you probably won’t remember to do it! That’s not to say that you don’t love your spouse. It’s just that the demands of the urgent can blow it right out of your mind.
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Top 5 Reasons You Need Date Time in Your Schedule

We believe that date time is crucial for the health of our marriage. But should it be something that we actually schedule in? Here are our top 5 reasons why you need to think about putting it right onto your calendar:

1. Date time keeps you connected with the most important person in your life.

First of all, which relationship in your life is most important to you? We hope you can quickly answer your marriage! And if it’s the most important relationship in your life, shouldn’t you be spending time cultivating it and protecting it, and keeping yourself connected with your husband or wife?

If you spend time with your colleagues, friends, and children, you should also be intentional at setting aside time for your spouse, because it will not just happen. Trust us. If you’re not intentional, it can easily be pushed onto the back burner, and before you know it, you’ll be practically strangers living in the same house! We don’t want that to happen!

2. It’s easy to forget about date time.

If you don’t put it on the schedule, you probably won’t remember to do it! That’s not to say that you don’t love your spouse. It’s just that the demands of the urgent can blow it right out of your mind. If you schedule all your other business meetings, shouldn’t you also schedule special time set aside for your spouse?

3. It shows you value it enough when you bump something else off a time slot.

When you value date time and plot it into your weekly schedule, it’s an outward sign that you think it’s important enough to warrant you spending time on. Also, it means that you might need to bump something else off to make it fit! But that’s OK. In fact, that’s the whole premise of adding it onto your schedule: it forces you to rethink your priorities and find a way to fit it in.

Impossible? That’s always how it seems at first. But take a look at your weekly schedule: do you really need to be at every socio-civic meeting, or community outreach, or PTA (Parent Teacher Association) meeting or activity? Or, do you really need to meet that friend who’s venting about her husband this week? Or, do you really need to do overtime every night of the week?

Think about what’s really important. Then adjust your schedule accordingly.

4. It helps you block off the needed time.

Now that you’ve plotted your date time on your schedule, you have no reason not to block off that time. That’s the beauty of time slots on your calendar: only one thing can fit into each box, and that means it’s blocked off for everything else.

Do you need an hour? Block off one hour. Two hours? Block off two. That way, when you look at your schedule, you know that you don’t schedule other things on those time blocks.

5. It gives you a reason to say no to other things.

Think about it. When something comes up, how easy is it to say, “Sorry, I can’t go with you, I have a date with my hubby”? Chances are, a friend or a family member might try to wheedle you out of it: “I’m sure he’ll understand,” or “You can date him anytime!” This is because not everyone understands the value of regular date time.

But if you have it on your calendar, when something comes up and you need to say no, you can say something like, “Sorry, I have an important appointment,” and leave it at that. Simpler, right?

Prioritising Date Time

We believe that prioritising date time is an essential element in keeping your marriage healthy. And if you need tips on different ways to do date time, including those that don’t have to cost a fortune, check out our post on 25 great date time ideas!

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