Top 5 Myths About Affairs You Need to Know

An affair is one of the most painful things that can happen to a married couple. And not to sound too pessimistic, the important thing to understand is that none of us is immune to the threat. When we know that it can creep in on us unawares, we are better equipped to set up a guard against it. 

Joy and I commit to taking steps to ensure that we keep it out of our marriage. We don’t claim to be invincible, but we believe having the right tools in place can play a huge role in keeping it at bay. 

One way of equipping ourselves is to debunk myths about infidelity. The sad fact is that many of us have come to hold many wrong beliefs about why or how an affair happens.

In this post, we hope to debunk some of the most common myths about affairs so that we can help you protect your marriage early on against this common and dangerous temptation.

An important question to ask yourself is: Are you turning to someone other than your spouse to share your deepest thoughts and feelings? It may be a warning that something is amiss in your relationship.
Click & Share

5 Important Myths About Affairs You Need to Debunk

Here are some of the most important myths that people believe about affairs which we want to unravel right now: 

Myth #1. An affair will surely destroy a marriage

Fact: Many marriages can bounce back after an affair. Of course, we cannot deny that it takes time and effort. But when a couple is committed to preserving their marriage, they can still come out stronger from the crisis. 

Oftentimes, therapy can help at processing the experience and helping couples learn to heal together. 

Myth #2. We only need to worry about men having extramarital relations.

Fact: According to the U.S. General Social Survey, 20% of men are unfaithful to their spouse versus 13% of women. But do you know that the gap is quickly closing. 

In the past, women tended to lose everything they had by getting involved in an affair: their provisions, their children, and even their lives. However, in recent years, women are less likely to worry about losing financial support, as they are now more capable of earning their own livelihood. 

Myth #3. Only a problematic marriage can lead to an affair. 

Fact: Strangely, not all affairs came about because a marriage was on the rocks. Sometimes, the couple is not even aware that anything is amiss. But one spouse may unknowingly start to turn to another person for emotional or physical connection. 

People have different reasons for choosing to have an affair, which is also why we actually have different kinds of affairs. 
It’s crucial to debunk this myth because it can help us nip unhealthy friendships in the bud instead of letting these grow out of hand.

Myth #4. It’s only considered an affair when there’s sex involved.

Fact: Many instances of infidelity involve a non-sexual relationship. When a person seeks emotional contentment with a person than his or her spouse, it’s already dangerous territory. Debunking this myth is crucial in helping us set healthy boundaries with the friendships we have.

An important question to ask yourself is: Are you turning to someone other than your spouse to share your deepest thoughts and feelings? It may be a warning that something is amiss in your relationship. One way of getting around that is working to restore connection with your partner, and committing to cut unhealthy ties with that other person. 

Going back to the myth of an affair only being considered thus when there’s sex, understand that infidelity may also occur with someone who is not even be in the same city you live in. This can be in the form of online relationships, which may or may not include a sexual undertone. 

Myth #5. For full healing, the full details of the affair need to be disclosed to the betrayed spouse.

Fact: Many authors of marriage books recommend full and complete disclosure of the detils of an affair. In reality, being too graphic in sharing X-rated information may be traumatizing for the betrayed partner. Usually, sharing the general facts, such as where, when, with whom, how it began and developed, may be enough.

If you are uncertain, a therapist may help you decide how much sharing will be beneficial to both partners.

Taking a Stand Against Infidelity

As we grow closer in our marriage, we need to be aware that the threat of affairs is real. We don’t need to get all anxious and worried all the time, but taking definite steps to maintain connection and renew the romance between us is a healthy habit to develop.

Consider taking time off for an uninterrupted date time where you can connect with each other. Or, you may also benefit from learning healthy ways of communicating, so that you can express your needs and have them met in the context of your marriage.

More Reads

Enjoy what you are reading?

Subscribe to our mailing list to get first looks at our articles as they become available. We respect your privacy and we guarantee no spam! 

By using this form, you acknowledge that you have read and agree with our Data Protection Notice.

Thank you for joining our Mailing List!

Pin It on Pinterest

Inspire someone

Share this post with your friends!