Keeping the Spark: 25 Date Time Ideas

If you are like most couples, one of the things that we allow to slide after marriage is a regular date time. After all, you’re already living together and spending lots of time together, so there’s no need to have a date, right?

Sadly, that’s a common mindset, but also a very misguided one. The premise beneath the undermining of the couple’s alone time together may be all the other responsibilities clamoring for our attention: it could be the kids, the husband and/or wife’s career, extended family duties, and many more. A lot of the time, though, the date night starts to slide once the first baby is born, as the couple’s world starts to revolve around the child or children.

In our case, when our first son was born, Daniel was very busy with his job. I was constantly feeling abandoned, and nursed the belief that I could not trust him to be there. Of course, at that time, I wasn’t that adept at identifying or expressing my feelings, so the natural outcome of all I was feeling was that I didn’t feel like spending alone time with him. 

Years down the road, as we started working on our marriage, I learned to identify when I’m feeling shunned, and expressing the emotions to him has helped cement our connection more. Since then, we’ve also made the commitment to keep a regular date time.

Why do we need date time?

So why is date time so important? Here are some benefits of having a regular date time with your spouse:  

 

  • It lets you have time to give one another undivided attention 
  • Carving out this time helps you affirm your importance to one another 
  • It gives you time to process feelings together in a safe enrivonment 
  • It gives you a chance to fill each other’s love tanks with quality time and words of affirmation 
  • It helps you discover new things to appreciate about one another 
Date time helps you affirm your importance to one another and gives you a chance to fill each other's love tanks with quality time and words of affirmation.
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25 Date Ideas
 

Before you shut off the idea of date time as impractical, let me say that date time doesn’t have to be expensive. Our favorite date time is simply getting out of the house to—guess what? Take a long walk down a few blocks away, sit down at a hawker center (*an outdoor dining place in Singapore) for a cheap cup of coffee, and then walk back. 

During that time, we get a chance to talk without being constantly interrupted by our brood of 6, especially the three who are below 10 years old. 

With that in mind, here are 25 date time ideas you can consider to help bring the spark back to your marriage: 

  1. Take a walk around the park. 
  2. Have coffee or tea together at a nearby cafe.  
  3. Have coffee or tea together, alone, on your front porch.
  4. Watch a movie together.
  5. Play a board game together.
  6. Have a candlelit dinner at home.  
  7. Grab a sandwich together at a local diner. 
  8. Take a walk by the beach or river.  
  9. Go boating, kayaking, or canoeing. 
  10. Go for a long drive through scenic roads. 
  11. Dance in your own living room with the lights turned down. 
  12. Play music or sing silly songs together. 
  13. Pack a picnic and eat it at a nice shady spot. 
  14. Have ice cream together at a convenience store. 
  15. Take turns cooking the other person’s favorite meal. 
  16. Sit at the laundromat together while waiting for your laundry. 
  17. Read a book together, taking turns reading aloud. 
  18. Play a video game together. 
  19. Get out of the house for dessert. 
  20. Have breakfast together at a local shop. 
  21. Take a fun class together (baking, carpentry, pottery etc).  
  22. If you’re into arts and culture, visit a museum together. 
  23. Sit out on the porch or balcony and enjoy a sunset together. 
  24. Get up before dawn and sip a drink while waiting for the sunrise. 
  25. Do Zumba, cross-fit, Pilates, or any other exercise together!

Making Date Time Regular 

We hope these ideas can get you started with having a regular date time. We recommend at least once a week, but if that’s not really plausible at this stage, start with once every two weeks. It doesn’t have to take hours, but do consider how much time you believe will help you continue to build connection through meaningful conversation and quality time spent together!

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