7 Ideas for Building Shared Dreams

Do you know that building shared dreams is a great way to build connection as a married couple? It helps us take our eyes off of ourselves while also giving us something to look forward to and work on together.

For Daniel and myself, our most recent shared dream is when we decided to franchise a convenience store. We both agreed that we weren’t really after the money (although any extra income would be nice!), but rather, we wanted to use it as a tool to get to know our community. That was why, from the first day that we opened our branch, we have both been actively involved, getting to know the people who shop in our area. While we were still on the lookout for a full-time staff member, we took turns manning the cash register. It’s been grueling, but because it was a shared goal, we know it’s worth it.

What about you? What kind of dreams have you and your spouse held together? We understand that many couples have totally separate career paths, and that’s totally fine. Even for us, for many seasons in our life, we weren’t always working together. But through those times of differing careers, we have—almost accidentally—always gravitated towards sharing at least one thing, and we believe it has helped us grow closer as a couple. 

For example, many years ago, I was working in a multinational company while Daniel was with a nonprofit organisation. But we started feeling a burden for vulnerable children, and started our journey into fostering and adopting abandoned and neglected babies. Since then, we have added two kids into our family through the beauty of adoption. 

    
When we talk about shared dreams, it doesn’t have to be something dramatic! It can be as simple as wanting to go to Disneyland as a family.   
    
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Shared Dreams Ideas to Get You Started

Of course, when we talk about shared dreams, it doesn’t have to be something dramatic! It can be as simple as wanting to go to Disneyland as a family. In this post, we hope to share some ideas that can help you build your own couple dream together.

1. Build a business together.

This may not be for everyone, but for couples who want a little side hustle, building a small business together, especially if you have common interests or strengths that can work together, can be a fun project. It can be a long-term business or even just a seasonal one, such as selling Christmas baked goods or Mothers’ Day bouquets. Or it can also be a small side hustle, such as selling preloved books or other items.

2. Invest in property.

Daniel and I recently also invested in a studio unit. Many couples in Singapore buy an extra home which they then rent out to offset the monthly payments. In our case, we decided to use the extra space as a kind of retreat centre, a place where we can do our counseling or have friends from overseas stay to be refreshed.

If investing in property is something you would like to do, take time to dialogue about what you would like it to be. Building shared meaning is part of the fun of pursuing a dream together. 

3. Do community or social justice work together. 

Pursuing a shared dream for the benefit of other people is a great way to get your eyes off of yourselves. Many couples attest to having less conflict when they were busy helping other people. 

Talk about the areas that you are passionate about. For example, a couple we know are burdened to help teenage unwed mothers, and they started building a website and social media page to raise awareness and to invite these vulnerable teenage women to reach out to them. 

4. Travel as a couple or as a family.

If you both enjoy traveling, it’s a good goal to work towards. Talk about what kind of places you want to see and explore together. Do you like to explore new cities? More nature reserves? Or do you have plans of moving or retiring in a whole new location? 

We used to travel together as a family annually and taking couple vacations regularly before the pandemic. The experience and memories give us talking points and broaden our vision of what is possible. We believe that seeing the world increases our capacity to dream–not to mention helping us bond together!

5. Create something together.

The sky’s the limit for what you can create together! Think DIY stuff like upcycling furniture, building an urban garden, adding an annex to your home, or doing a kitchen renovation or repainting. Or, it can be something intangible like writing a song or a book together. Explore your hobbies and strengths and see where that takes you as a couple.

6. Pursue a lifestyle change.

A shared dream may not always be something tangible. For example, Daniel and I also made changes to our lifestyle, by pursuing an intentionally healthy way of life. This included going vegan and exercising regularly. We may not always succeed at our goals 100%, but having the shared vision helps keep us going.

7. Learn something together.

Sharing a dream may also include choosing something you can learn together. It can be a foreign language, or a totally new skill. A married couple we know is currently learning about natural farming, in line with their shared dream of working a farm together as a family. They both didn’t really have much background in farming, so they find the shared experience challenging and enjoyable. 

For example, Daniel and I learned how to ride a bike together. In spite of the many falls and bruises, we enjoyed “suffering” together. We even discussed the kind of bike we should buy when we passed the test. We dreamed of riding around a cute scooter like a Vespa on a vacation island like Phuket! 

Sharing Dreams Together

Sharing dreams together as a couple is a great way to have an instant conversation starter. It also helps us formulate goals and execute them towards a common goal. If you want to learn more about the benefits of building shared dreams together as a couple, check out this post.

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