4 More Myths About Affairs (Part 2) 

Most people who have extramarital affairs did not go into marriage intending to be unfaithful to their partner. When they stood at the altar, saying their vows, many of them were truly dedicated to staying loyal to their spouse. 

So what happened? 

Possibly, a lot. The important thing for us to know is that an affair doesn’t develop overnight, and distinguishing between fact and myth will help us understand how things can escalate. That way, we can ensure that we aren’t caught off guard by an unhappy surprise.

In this post, we continue our discussion on myths about affairs. (If you missed Part 1 of this series, you can read it here.)

When someone else comes along that meets [unsatisfied] needs, the person with unmet longings may be in a vulnerable state. It does not mean he or she will automatically fall into an affair, but the decisions he or she makes can prove crucial in determining the direction that this other relationship will take.
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4 Additional Myths About Affairs You Need to Know

Here are four more myths about affairs that we hope can help you keep your marriage safe:

Myth #6. Affairs only happen as people age and become too familiar with each other.

Fact: Sadly, this is not the main reason that people have affairs. Research has shown a steady rise in affairs even while the married couple is under 30 years old! It is possible that when young people have had a string of partners prior to marriage, the habit becomes hard to break.

Myth #7. Infidelity always shows signs, but the betrayed partner probably ignored them. 

Fact: Although many cases of affairs do manifest warning bells, many times, the cheating partner may really have just been too good at hiding it. 

The myth likely comes from the fact that in hindsight, many betrayed partners suddenly realize that the signs were right there before their eyes. But hindsight is called that for a reason: looking back at past events is not always the same as how we view things while the events are taking place.  

Myth #8. An affair is a sign of a poor marital sex life.  

Fact: Not all affairs happen because the couple does not have a good sex life. But because as human beings, we have a wide array of needs, it’s possible that the affair is filling up a different kind of need. It may be an emotional need, or a need for peace and quiet, such as in the case of a troubled household.  People have different reasons for choosing to have an affair, which is also why we actually have different kinds of affairs. 
It’s crucial to debunk this myth because it can help us nip unhealthy friendships in the bud instead of letting these grow out of hand.

Myth #9. If you really love your partner, infidelity will not be an issue. 

Fact: Some people believe that infidelity happens because one of the couple has fallen out of love with the other. The truth is, a couple may still love each other but end up having some of their needs unmet. It can be a desire for emotional connection, affirmation, or sex, among many other things.  

When someone else comes along that meets those needs, the person with unmet longings may be in a vulnerable state. It does not mean he or she will automatically fall into an affair, but the decisions he or she makes can prove crucial in determining the direction that this other relationship will take. 

Equipping Your Marriage Withstand the Threat of Affairs 

Now that we know some of the most common myths about affairs, we hope this can help equip you. We encourage you to consciously find ways to meet your partner’s needs, especially the need for emotional connection. As we do this, we believe we can help prevent the lure of confiding in another person. 

But if you feel that you would need an objective person to speak into your marriage, feel free to sign up for one of our workshops or get in touch with us for a couples coaching session. We would be happy to sit down with you and help you build strength into your relationship! 

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